The Week: What You Missed

Sunday, May 1 | Twitter lit up with the announcement that Osama bin Laden was shot and killed in Abbottabad, Pakistan. The DNA match was made by comparing physical evidence from bin Laden’s sister. Donald Trump will probably want to see the death certificate.

In almost-equally-as-important news, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon gave birth to twins. We still don’t understand that marriage.

Monday, May 2 | A teen from Alaska was jailed for riding an ice floe. Give the kid a break – he was probably just trying to get a glimpse of Russia! Turns out, it’s illegal.

A weird day for concert music: Katy Perry sang Rebecca Black’s “Friday” to a sold-out arena, and Miley performed Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

Tuesday, May 3 | Former Playboy Playmate and B-lister Yvette Vickers was found mummified in her home in California. Said the neighbor that found her, after noticing yellowed mail and cobwebs: “I just had a bad feeling.”

A cross-dressing man who was high on bath salts (yup, totally normal) killed his neighbor’s pygmy goat.

Wednesday, May 4 | Happy May the Fourth Be With You! Trekkies and nerds, unite!

Chatroulette hired 32 official “cockblockers” to root out any disruptive users before they interrupted others’ sessions. Wonder how they’re listing that on their resumes.

On a visit to a middle school in Washington D.C. as part of her fitness initiative, First Lady Michelle Obama dougies and dances to Beyonce. Damn, girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8o-swR9U_k

Thursday, May 5 | According to new research published in Popular Science, women who always had unprotected sex had significantly lower levels of depression symptoms than those who usually or always used condoms, as well as those who abstained from sex. Bottom line? Do it - but we highly suggest with protection.

Ladies and gentlemen…presenting the video for Lady Gaga’s “Judas.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wagn8Wrmzuc