The Funniest Shit Written On Bird Library Desks

It’s finals week. You know what that means? It’s time to cram four months of information that you were already supposed to know into your brain in 48 hours. Yes, of course you should have been studying in advance, but you were too busy watching Netflix and it’s hard to pay attention in class when you’re on Facebook stalking your ex best friend’s boyfriend’s dad. So sadly, the time has come for you to open your textbook for once and learn some shit… once you figure out which building Bird Library is.

Bird is notoriously packed during all hours of finals week. If you are ever in Bird and preparing for some final you’re probably not going to do well in, pick your head up from that book you’re pretending to read and look around at all the stuff written on the walls of the cubicles and on the desks. Take a five minute (more like 30) study break... you wont be disappointed at the weird shit you’ll see.

These are a few of my own findings written around Bird Library.

“Stay Sober”

Whoever wrote this, stop your judging. I’m coping with finals the way that feels most natural... with a handle of vodka and a Jimmy Johns sandwich.

“Call for good sex”

But you forgot to leave your phone number!

“Kevin Durant, Larry Bird, Koooobe”

Bro, are you preparing for this week’s upcoming fantasy draft or something? Come back to reality and go write your paper.

“EK ❤s *name crossed out*” with “you need to stop” written next to it

Everyone knows that writing you and hookup’s name on a table in Bird for everyone to see just comes off as clingy. Rookie mistake, EK. Obviously, your hookup wasn’t as into it as you were.

“why is school a thng?”

Honestly, that’s the reason why school is a *thing.

“cuse has no brain”

Unsure what this means but it has a nice ring to it.

“Why am I a chemical engineer?”

You are one brave soul. I’m praying for you this finals week.

“I foot you”

A different kind of four letter word but I think it gets the message across just as well.

"The shit smells like poo"

Very insightful, have you ever thought about majoring in philosophy?

"I ❤ sex"

You and “Call for good sex” should hangout.

“Bernie 2016”

What a way to campaign, Bernie. Winning over the hearts of young voters, one vandalized table at a time. #GorillaMarketing

“All Hail Satan”

Finals weeks does bring out the demon within everyone. Overall, just concerned for your sanity.

To whoever wrote these, thanks for the much needed entertainment. I couldn’t have gotten through finals week without your vandalism.