The Do's and Don'ts of Spring Break Hookups
After two months of slogging away in class and trudging through Syracuse’s arctic snow, it’s finally spring break! For one week, we get to go crazy, and whether you’re heading for some fun in the sun in Cabo or exploring New York City, it’s time to fucking play.
Besides getting to chill with your friends and party it up, this is also the best time for singles to go "hunting." People begin their spring break trips with the intention of letting it all go, which can only mean one thing — hookup season. While it’s easy to just want to go totally cray, we at Jerk have got your back and have compiled a list of do’s and don’ts for your spring (break) flings.
1. DO wrap it before you tap it. Yes, it’s spring break and yes, it’s time to #YOLO but as mom always says, prevention is better than a cure. Besides your bikinis and suntan lotion, condoms should be right up there on your Official List of Things to Pack. Besides obviously protecting you from getting pregnant by some random guy you met at a beach party, condoms also protect you from a slew of STDs and HIV. 'Cause nothing’s worse than bringing back an STD as a spring break souvenir.
2. DON’T get attached. It’s called a hookup for a reason, so expecting anything more is only setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes, you guys might have had great chemistry and yes, the sex was absolutely mind blowing but if you’re expecting a phone call or even a Facebook friend request afterwards, it’s probably best not to get your hopes up. Live in the moment, enjoy the experience for what it is, thank him/her and move on. Spring break is a time for no commitments and tons of fun — live by this and you’ll avoid possible heartache.
3. DO step outside of your comfort zone. It’s spring break and while it is important to play safe (refer to item No. 2), nobody said you had to be boring. You are only young once, so grow a pair and take some risks! Whether it’s going after a girl or guy that you normally would think is completely out of your league, or perhaps having sex in public, you have one week to go wild and we say, do it.
4. DON’T regret anything. If you’re experimenting and pushing your sexual boundaries while still being safe, you’ve got nothing to lose! While there may be that night when you had sex with that guy whses name you can’t seem to remember or that day when you were way too crossfaded, spring break is made out of memories like these. So regret nothing, learn from your mistakes (beer before liquor, etc.) and look forward to the memories from that one week away.
5. DO try and break some records. For the more experienced spring breaker (or the extra ballsy first-timer), try and break the previous records you might hold. Maybe you’ve had your fair share of one-on-one hookups, so why not make this week all about "teamwork," eh? Or perhaps hook up with a different person (boy or girl or maybe both) every single day of spring break. The possibilities are endless and it’ll be one spring break memory you’d love to look back on when you’re back in snowy Syracuse.
6. DON’T get caught on camera (or do?) For most of us, sex is something that’s between two people (or more, if you sway that way) and should be done in private. Well, excluding public rendezvouses, when you’re getting down and dirty, it really should be for the moment and not for future viewing. Just to ensure that you don’t potentially kick-off your porno career, make sure none of your dirty deeds are caught on camera. Nothing can damage your career or reputation more than a video of you going down on someone in between taking shots, so let’s leave the professional video making to the pros. (Side note: Unless you’re into being filmed, then by all means, go for it). Spring break. Spring break. Spring break fo’ever~
Art by Shawna Rabbas