Save a Horse...For The Butcher
By Noël Frodelius
Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods might as well be my father. Along with a shared love of global travel, we both have a sick fascination with eating unique foods. I have gone so far as to adopt his signature catchphrase as my personal culinary mantra: as long as it looks edible, I’ll eat it. Everything from raw sea urchin ovaries to sautéed grasshoppers has touched my plate. So when I heard that horse meat might be back on the American menu, I slapped on my bib in hungry anticipation.
Horse meat isn’t new to the American dinner table. One hundred years ago, cowboys bought and traded mustangs as food stock, particularly for pet food. The food industries hunted wild horses as a cheap source of protein. Over two million horses lived on the American plains back then, and more than 34,000 live in the wild today. However, the American Bureau of Land Management (ABLM) considers the significantly lower 26,000 horses a manageable number to strive for. In attempts to control the booming population, regularly scheduled roundups have relocated many of the wild horses into holding facilities. Ranch owners and adoption centers took in some of these horses, but many were processed into delicious pony steaks, another option for Sunday dinner.
Unfortunately, the ABLM banned horse meat in the United States in 2007, thanks to several bitching and moaning animal rights groups. They argued that killing horses for food was inhumane and led to poor treatment of the animals, blah blah blah. But now the topic is back on the table, so to speak, as the ABLM reassesses its decision to ban the horse meat industry.
The current solution to horse overpopulation is obviously not working. Corralling wild horses and keeping them penned up is just as bad, if not worse, than killing them for meat. At least on my dinner plate the animal’s not suffering—it’s already dead. Of course an animal should only be killed for meat in a humane and painless manner, but once it’s dead, there’s no sensible reason not to use it for food. Honestly, it just doesn’t seem ethical to kill an animal simply because it’s in the way, without using the carcass for some good.
This is precisely why I’m happy to inform you that horses are also part of a well-balanced diet. When compared to 80 percent lean ground beef, horse meat contains less fat, sodium, and cholesterol, as well as fewer calories. The deep red meat provides more protein and iron than beef, which makes it incredibly healthy. The cost of horse meat is also lower than most other meats by an average of about 75 to 80 cents per pound. With benefits like these, I’m surprised restaurant menus don’t have a section entitled “Horse d’Oeuvres.” Yeah, I went there.
I’m all for adding Seabiscuit burgers to my weekly shopping list. France and Japan adopted horse as a delicacy ages ago, and America needs to get on board. The problem is Americans have been trained to eat McDonald’s dog food-infused cheeseburgers and Taco Bell’s beef-blend burritos. Anything outside the “safe zone”—beef, pork, or chicken—we consider taboo and disgusting. Even certain organs within conventional meat groups are deemed too gross to eat. Case in point: liver. See also: tripe. Everyone needs to get off his or her high horse (pun intended), and try eating something before assuming it tastes like John Wayne’s undies.
Only on JerkMagazine.net: Morally Conscious Meat: Meatless Monday