Roommate Rules

By Christina Sterbenz

Living with a rando can turn monumentally bad pretty quickly. Well, maybe not as bad as the recent flick “The Roomate”, where Leighton Meester becomes obsessed with her roommate, stalks her, and basically turns into a hormonal Freddy Kruger anytime someone tries to interfere with their budding “friendship.” But sharing quarters with a close friend can expose bad habits and bizarre idiosyncrasies that previously hid in the cracks between hang-outs. Like those annoying balls of dust that camouflage themselves so artfully underneath your couch, these problems can accumulate until you can no longer ignore them. You have to vacuum that shit…a.k.a address the issues going on within your shared living quarters in a calm and mature manner. No living arrangement will work perfectly. You can, however, try your best to attain a harmonious relationship and thus a moderately acceptable living environment. The suggestions below will help you get along better with your roomie—whether he or she is a foreign exchange student or a Greek-life enthusiast or anything in between.

Talk about everything beforehand.

Who buys the paper towels? Which one of you cleans the bathroom? Will you share food? Too many uncertainties will arise to discuss within my limited word count, so take the time to discuss these topics before you move-in together. Personally, I prefer a more general rule: every man, woman or transgender for himself or herself. If you decide to share food, one person could potentially eat more than the other and World War III will ensue. If you want to take the risk, buy in bulk at BJ’s, Sam’s Club or Costco. As for splitting the cleaning, I guarantee your roommate will not want to deal with a mess in the kitchen after your bout of drunken munchies and vice-versa.

Be honest and open with each other.

I avoided asking permission for anything from my parents in high school just in case they would say no. However, using that same philosophy with your roomie…bad news bears. You need to keep them informed so you can create a plan that works for all involved. For example, if your boyfriend or girlfriend plans to come on a certain weekend, your roommate may want take a trip home or visit friends at another college. Your roomie won’t have to hear your sex noises, and you can make louder ones without fear of awkwardness in the morning – everyone wins! You may even have to skip throwing a party one weekend so that your roommate can study, but remind him or her to return the favor when you have work to do.

Find time to bond.

This sounds lame, right? Well, you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, but taking the time to chill with him or her once in awhile won’t hurt. Grab lunch together between classes occasionally. Girls, have a movie night and give each other manicures. Nail polish brings people together. Guys, play video games, start a game of one-on-one, or…whatever else you men do. The time you spend together will establish some common ground that can help during conflicts or improve your relationship in general.

Overall, use the golden rule we all (hopefully) learned in elementary school: treat others as you would like to be treated. If your roomie turns out to be a Newhouse kid that barely passed basic grammar and evidently failed to grasp the lesson on the golden rule as well, then teach him or her the basic principles yourself.