Remembering Your Self Worth

By Lindsay Dolak

It’s Friday night. Your significant other just called to say they cheated and you’re now taking Ben and Jerry’s to the face. Thank God for your horrible influence of a roommate who just barged in to tell you to get ready because you’re not spending your night with empty calories and Sara Bareilles’ “Bluebird” on repeat -- you’re going out. Get pretty. Go.

Suddenly you find yourself in some frat house pretending to have a good time while you ask yourself whether or not it was your fault. Are you not attractive enough? Did you come on too strong when you mentioned you want five kids and may or may not already have all of their names picked out? Oh my gosh, it was your fault. Now you’re feeling warm. Well, that’s not the heat of a mosh pit of grinding undergrads, that’s insecurity and you’re officially giving it an extended piggyback ride. Oh, and you subconsciously just gained ten pounds.

But wait, is he…I think he is…yup, that frat guy has got his beer goggles pointed at you and he’s ready to tango…or Dougie…whatever. I give it a song and half before you’re rolling around upstairs with him.

Why though? It seems that so many girls and boys feel the need to give themselves away like Halloween candy. These random, probably meaningless, most likely regrettable hook-ups just result in some feelings of false confidence during insecure times.

Let’s review: you’re single, whether recently or seemingly forever and unless you’re George Clooney, you’re probably feeling a little iffy about that. You might question what is so wrong with you that no one wants to be with you.

I’m willing to bet that a majority of weekend hook-ups are random, one-night stands and you are not alone. For that night, you were good enough for someone. Yeah, that someone has been drinking and is most likely not a total jerk, but they wanted you when they could’ve had any slutty freshman dancing on that beer-coated floor. Did we just define #winning?

But seriously, could the average “slut” really just be looking for some reassurance that she’s not a complete hopeless cause? Random hook ups are quite possibly the source of subconscious – and I do cringe before I say – comfort to those feeling down on themselves.

Time for some tough love. I doubt that you will ever get one of the little promiscuous princesses to admit that these feelings exist. I believe that there may be some merit to the argument that insecurity may be a breeder of slutty tendencies.

Unfortunately, crawling between that guy and his sheets isn’t going to change the fact that insecurity is an internal game that can’t be fixed by casual sex. My advice: remember your worth. You want to test drive a few mattresses here and there? Fine. But don’t assume hot and heavy bedtime with randos will substitute therapeutic bedtime with Ben and Jerry. I’d reconsider the latter. Two’s better than one, after all.