Relationship Status: HELP

By Laura Cohen When a friend starts telling you about the person he or she is interested in, descriptions and stories can only go so far. Let’s face it, our immediate response is to look that person up on Facebook. If nobody can be found after numerous spelling variations and the best of stalking, he or she must not exist.

Alright, you can still exist without having a Facebook page, but we often forget that. If you are not listed there, we may forget about you. Facebook is used to confirm any and all information these days, including the imperative relationship status. With 11 different options to choose from, be aware that your choice can make or break you.

“Single”:

By listing yourself as single, someone checking you out knows you are available. No confusion, no second-guessing. For many singles, though, this is not good enough. Is “single” really so boring? Apparently so. A popular trend is posting a fake relationship. “I am in a ‘civil union’ with my best friend from home, and he’s a guy,” Emily Latainer, a sophomore writing major, said. “I think, for the most part, people know it is a joke because it doesn’t stop people from trying.”

You might be able to get away with that one, but using one more solid, like “in a relationship” or “married” with just a friend holds the risk of sending the wrong message. If you are a Facebook whore with over 3,000 friends and keep your profile totally public (we know who you are) be aware that not everyone is going to be in on your jokes.

“In A Relationship”:

Once you make things exclusive with someone, there’s the issue of being Facebook Official (or FBO). The statistic that one in five divorces are caused by Facebook might have something to do with this two-sided issue. Some may not want to publicize the relationship at all. “People don’t need to know who you’re in a relationship with, you know who you’re in a relationship with,” Luzette Rodriguez, a sophomore biology major, said.

For many, though, posting the relationship seems like the logical thing to do. Patrick Stege, a sophomore chemistry major, and his girlfriend are listed as “in a relationship” on Facebook. “We put our relationship on Facebook because we didn't feel it was something we needed to hide, and we are both comfortable with people knowing that we are happily in a relationship,” Stege said. “It was something that just seemed normal to do as well.”

Becoming FBO provides comfort that both parties are equally committed to the relationship. If one person refuses to publicize the relationship, this raises some red flags. “A guy will go off and flirt with other girls if it is not Facebook Official because it is not as real,” Ediva Zanker, a freshman magazine journalism major, said. In this day and age, not stating your status on the Internet makes the relationship a bit more casual.

“It’s Complicated”:

If the relationship is serious but a bit rocky, you may want to avoid publicizing it for the time being. If you break up and get back together often, you will start to clog up everyone else’s newsfeeds. “Their relationship status goes back and forth every day, usually accompanied by a status consisting of lines from a stupid song that is totally about their life,” Gil Maher, a freshman policy studies major, said.

No one wants to be “that couple” with all the drama. In fact, if your relationship is this unstable, you probably should not be in one at all. In this case, it is best to keep things private. It may be complicated, but please, never use the “It’s complicated” relationship status. That’s just awkward.