Let's Get Real About LDR's

Everyone wants the perfect college love story full of romantic tailgate pictures and late night Insomnia binges; but, unfortunately, we don’t all get the #couplegoals relationships and have to actually put in a lot of effort, especially when bae isn't close by. Long distance relationships are certainly not easy and can be quite confusing, so we at Jerk have answered your most pressing questions on LDR’s.

How often should long distance couples visit one another?

If the two of you are a drive or train ride away, then by all means, visit them a few times a year. Whenever you have a free weekend or a few days off, you can make the trek to see each other. But if your relationship stretches across thousands of miles, it may be harder and costlier to plan a visit. In that case, make the most of your time together during breaks and vacations from school, and maybe, if the timing is right, split the cost of one of you to fly to see the other.

How do you plan a surprise visit?

Make sure you’re planning with your significant other’s roommate or close friends – this is the key to pulling off the perfect surprise. Also, check that your significant other is free and will have time to spend with you; visit when they’re exam-free, otherwise you’ll be confined to making love in the library. Timing is everything, and it’s imperative that you have someone your S.O. is close with to help you figure it out.

Is it weird reuniting after a long period of time apart?

Although the lead up can be anxiety inducing, reuniting after being apart for so long is incredibly relieving and exciting. Finally being face-to-face – or mouth-to-mouth – will be the best feeling after missing them. Be sure to make the most of your time together; it flies by.

How frequently should you talk to each other? 

Communicating every day over text or Snapchat is good in combination with a five to 10-minute phone call every other day to catch up. But still, make sure to put aside chunks of time where you can have in-depth conversations over the phone, Skype or FaceTime. Even if half of the call is just the two of you doing homework, having each other’s presence there – albeit on the other side of the screen – is almost as good as them being there.

Is there anything you would advise AGAINST doing?

Don’t get too overprotective. Long distance relationships require a lot of trust, and if that trust falters, it will lead to problems between the two of you. If you feel like it’s not working out, or something feels off, make sure to have a conversation with them instead of brushing it off. You may lead busy lives, but there should always be time for each other. Communication is essential in an LDR, so make sure you’re open and clear about your feelings, even if you’re afraid it might hurt their feelings or cause more problems.

When is time to call it quits?

Sometimes the distance can put too much strain on a relationship. If you feel like it’s not working out, or if saying “I love you” doesn’t come as naturally anymore, maybe it’s time to end it. Of course, talk about it together and be honest. You know you the best, and if you’re not happy with the relationship anymore or it doesn’t feel right, then do what will make you comfortable. Staying together for the sake of making the other person happy can be toxic and ultimately cause more stress.

How do you set social media boundaries? When is it okay to post pictures with someone of your S.O.’s gender?

If your significant other is the jealous type, it may be best to refrain from posting pictures of you solo with a person they could see you being attracted to. However, relationships require trust, and if they’re not willing to trust you being in the presence of someone of another gender, how can you be expected to trust them? A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: if they posted this, how would I feel?

How do you stay loyal with cuffing season approaching?

Make a greater effort to show your affection and keep in close contact with bae, whether that’s calling them while your other friends are cuddling up with their cuff buddies or sexting them to remind each other of what you’ll be doing when you reunite.

How do you keep yourself sexually satisfied? 

An easy answer would be to invest in a battery-powered solution to satisfy all your bedroom needs. Fingers are great, too, but phone sex with your long-distance lover can also work and keep the attraction alive from miles away. But, if you have the willpower, pushing through the frustration and building up ~the tension~ before you see each other again will leave you satisfied as hell once you’re reunited.

Thoughts on sending nudes?

Nudes are a great way to keep the fire burning in a relationship while being apart. Snapchat has made it easy to send naughty photos without it being saved for eternity. Just be sure to double check that you’re sending the picture to the right recipient; you wouldn’t want your cousin to accidentally receive something meant for your S.O.!