How to Handle Awkward Questions at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

So, here it is: Thanksgiving. You’re gathered around the table with your family. You’re drooling over the pumpkin pie. You’re putting as much stuffing on your plate as possible. You’re happy because you have a week off from school, so you can forget about how your whole life is due next week.

And then your aunt asks, “What your plans are for after graduation?” Cue panic attack.

Here are ways to deal with the nosy aunts, uncles, grandparents, and second cousins of the world.

1. “So where’s your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other?” So maybe you and your significant other broke up last week after a blow-up fight in Tops (grocery shopping can be detrimental to a relationship). Or maybe you’re so single that you don’t even know what a significant other means. Either way, don’t let this question bring your Thanksgiving high down. You can explain the situation in great detail, “He wanted apples, but I wanted grapes!” or you can just do like the celebrities and blame it on irreconcilable differences. And if you’re single, own it.

2. “So what are your plans after graduation?" People are known to start asking this question when it’s the second week of freshman year, so you’re probably used to this one by now. But if you really want to get them confused, act like you don’t even know what college is. “What is graduation?” “What is a job?” Maybe grunt a little and add some tears in for dramatic effect. They’ll be so confused they’ll think you’ve dropped out of college because you’re crazy. Trust me, no other questions will be asked.

3. “What’s going on with your haircut/body/face?” When a comment is made on a recent haircut, weight gain, weight loss, piercing, or anything on your body in general, just hold your eyes to keep them from rolling to the back of your head. Take a deep breath, cue your iPod speakers, and put on Beyoncé’s “Flawless.” Make sure you’re at the part where she sings, “I look so good tonighttttt” and sing it as loud as possible. Dance around the table, and be sure to dance and sing right in front of the person who asked the question.

4. “So when are you guys getting married?” So you two have been dating since the beginning of fall semester and your relatives are ready for a proposal. Well, then give them one. “Well funny that you ask,” your significant other will say bending down on one knee. Better yet, have someone who can officiate the marriage right there and have it in your living room. Make sure your veil is under the table, and since you were ready for this moment, so you’re naturally already wearing your wedding dress.