Grow Up

By Christina Sterbenz

In the board game Life, “going to college” means choosing to take the longer way around the first bend and hopefully spinning high numbers so the trip doesn’t take you as long. Afterward, getting married and landing a prestigious career may have seemed as easy as placing another miniscule figurine in your car and choosing the correct Life tile. Considering that we live in the real world—well most of us do—these tasks on our path to maturity have not and will never happen so easily. As someone entering her junior year of college, I know I need to start considering how I market myself for life after college, and I know many of you feel the same. The difficulty lies in learning to balance career goals and gaining respect from others without becoming a complete wallflower at frat parties. I don’t quite have a perfect plan yet, and I’m still learning as I go. If you don’t plan on living in your parents’ basement until your 40s, bear with me as I delve into one of my more serious posts. The suggestions below should hopefully highlight the ways you can gain respect for yourself and from others while still having a blast in college.

1. Know the difference between trashy and flashy.

If people think you’re trashy, you may as well have had an illegitimate child. This stigma can follow you for years and demand your constant attention. You need to know the difference between what will give you a bad rep and what will show everyone that you’re a fun-loving, but a classy individual. For example, dancing on tables, speakers, and other elevated surfaces with your girlfriends is totally acceptable in my book. Doing that in a dress, however, might land you the wrong kind of letters—a scarlet A embroidered on your chest. Casually kissing a cute guy on the dance floor—get it, girl. Fucking that same guy in the bathroom of a frat—absolutely not. Guys, this applies to you as well. If you would judge someone else for something, don’t do it yourself. This may mean limiting the amount you drink, since alcohol lowers inhibitions and logical thinking. Shocking, I know.

2. Dress appropriately.

Unfortunately, your fashion sense is one of the main tools others use to judge you. Many people look at the clothes you’re wearing to get an idea of your personality. Ladies, you have two easy rules to follow. 1. Keep the goodies in the jar. Anything too short or too low-cut, especially when worn together, will earn some negative attention. 2. Avoid certain words on your clothing. This list includes: juicy, sexy, slut, and DTF. Anything with a kitten adorning a halo that says “Angel” is probably not a good idea either, but for different reasons -- that’s just scary. Once again, guys need to take note of this as well. You will not be taken seriously if your shirt is three sizes too small, if you used so much gel that your hair doesn’t move, or if rhinestones on your sunglasses inhibit your vision. Basically, don’t use anyone on the Jersey Shore as your style inspiration.

3. Respect yourself and others.

Lastly, as a more general rule, create your own boundaries and stay true to them. If you disagree with something, voice your opinion calmly. If you truly don’t want to do something, don’t let others pressure you. If you show others respect, they will give it back to you. Conversely, if you respect yourself, you’re more likely to have better relationships with others.

I apologize for going Dr. Phil on your asses, but we’re all getting to the age where we need to be responsible for our actions. Youth or immaturity can no longer be an excuse. For all you know, that Facebook picture of you passed out after an intense night of binge drinking may cost you your dream job after graduation. When the love of your life finds out that you’ve slept with half the lacrosse team or a sorority, he or she may have trouble trusting you. Always remember, it’s never too late to make a change.