7 People You Meet When You Go Out

Whether you’re going to the bars, partying at a frat, or with friends at a house party, you’re bound to run into some interesting characters. Some are way out there, and it is more than likely you’ll run into a least one of these people during your time at SU.

1. The funnel/shotgun bros. Bros will be bros, and bros love to chug. What’s more college than bumping some Kanye West and shotgunning brews with the homies? Not much, except maybe funneling beer while listening to Diplo. Both options are as chill as beers being chugged by the equally chill bros. These guys can also be found ripping an excessive amount of Fireball shots.

2. Girls that only take shots. These girls don’t chug beer because it has too many calories and it takes too long to get drunk. Their pregame consists of taking a shot, then taking a couple of photos, then taking more shots, and continuing that back and forth until they’re drunk enough to party. Their pregame playlist is made up of Tiesto and, of course, “Trumpets” by Jason Derulo.

3. Beer pong champs. This duo is way too competitive and probably extremely socially awkward. The majority of their interactions with others consist of the phrases, “balls back,” “heating up,” and “can we get a re-rack?” Very chill.

4. Beer snob. This person will always show up with a six-pack of some random craft beer. They might even brew their own. Watch out, because this person will judge you for drinking Keystone Light. You can probably find them tasting a variety of beers every Tuesday night at Faegan’s.

5. One beer wonder. This person is never seen drinking, but is somehow always drunk. Some might think this person pregamed way too hard, but they really just have a low tolerance for alcohol. This person claims they drank a lot in high school, but we all know their sober truth.

6. The sober monitor. Sometimes this person is sober by choice, other times they have to be for some other reason. Either way, this person is usually pretty grumpy about being sober and surrounded by drunken people. They’ll probably cut out fairly early in the night in order to avoid the late night shenanigans.

7. Blackout Betsy/Billy. Everyone has had a bad night when they got too crazy after a few too many drinks. But blackout Betsy and Billy are the people who blackout on a consistent basis. The fact that this person is still alive is truly amazing. Blackout Billy and Betsy have mastered the art of the drunken stumble, slurred speech, and falling asleep in places where they shouldn’t. You’ll probably hear endless “I was so fucked up last night” stories from this person over breakfast the next morning.

Art by Shawna Rabbas