Why We Keep Settling for the Bare Minimum

Photo credit to Sharon McCutcheon via Unsplash (@sharonmccutcheon)

The line between simple acts of respect and romantic gestures has completely blurred. It’s time to stop confusing decency for thoughtfulness. Over the last few years as (ugh) situationship culture has taken over, we have started to celebrate things like opening the door, compliments, and manners. We have started to celebrate the bare minimum. But why?

To put it simply, it’s because our expectations are rightfully low. More and more guys are growing increasingly comfortable treating their romantic partners like absolute dog shit. Getting ~used~ has been normalized. Being talked down to, ignored, and not prioritized has been normalized. Hell, Taylor Swift just released a ten minute song about it! It’s THAT common.

But guys. Hear us out. If lowering our expectations is the way we respond to being mistreated, we are surrendering our power and control. We are letting them get away with it. By allowing our hearts to skip a beat over miniscule acts of nothingness, we are settling for way less than we deserve. Our definition of a good and healthy relationship is so misconstrued at this point, we have lost a level of self-respect and self-worth.

The truth can be subjective and you can convince yourself of just about anything. If you’re really into someone, they don’t have to do much to justify that they like you back. You crave the feelings of reciprocation so much that you latch onto… well... the bare minimum. This can be labeled as being, “blinded by love,” but it is also just a case of seeing what you want to see. 

But not ALL hope is lost. There is a way that you can move past this blasphemy & bullshit. Although it may sound obvious, the answer to finding the love you deserve is by listening to your intuition: tuning into that little voice in the back of your head, or that gut feeling that you shoved deep, deep down. The people that you are close to and that truly understand you definitely have opinions that you have been brushing off. Maybe they’re worth a listen. Ok, maybe not your gaslighter of a grandma but you get our point.

Isn’t that what self-respect is all about? Acting accordingly to what you know is best for you? Not letting yourself fall into cycles of ego-driven attachment and “maybe one day they’ll like me if we keep it casual for now” commentary?

What’s empowering for one may not be empowering for another; and that’s okay, so long as you accept these simple words: You deserve more. 

You deserve more than just a “u home safe?” text; you deserve more than an afterthought at the end of the night; you deserve more than just the Bare Minimum.