Lies Every College Student Tells Themself

Let’s be real, we all lie to ourselves. Everyone has told little white lies to make themself feel better about doing something, like justifying to yourself that it’s okay to go out for the fourth night in a row (“Because Natasha didn’t go out last night and she is going out tonight, so you can’t be a bad friend and not go out with her”) or why you decided not to do the reading for your sociology class (“Because I don’t like how the professor is running the class, so doing the reading and contributing to discussion makes it seem like I’m supporting the style of teaching”).

Here are some lies every college student tells themself during a typical day:

9:30 am

“I’ll get up in 5 minutes.”

10:40 am

“I don’t need to shower today. I showered like 3 days ago, all I need is a little deodorant and I’m set. ”

11:00 am

“It doesn’t matter if I skip this class today, whatever my professor is talking about probably won’t be on the midterm.”

11:30 am

“I’m only watching one more episode.”

2:00 pm

“I’m on a diet.” *Gets the burger without the side of fries*

2:30 pm

“I can totally skip the gym today! I took the stairs AND I’m on a diet.”

3:00 pm

“I have a bio test in an hour that I haven’t studied for yet, but if I cram now I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

5:00 pm

“I totally aced that test.” (Thought photosynthesis was a type of camera)

6:00 pm

“Jimmy John’s is a healthy option for dinner.”

6:30 pm

“I NEED to go to the mall… I have no clothes.”

7:00 pm

“I’m definitely going wear this more than once.” *Brings the leopard print onesie to the register*

7:45 pm

“My dad isn’t gonna be mad when he looks his bank statements. He’ll understand that I need all of these clothes.”

8:30 pm

“Ugh, today has been such a stressful day I’m going to close my eyes for 5 minutes max.”

10:00 pm

“I am not going out tonight!” *Says that while taking a shot*

10:15 pm

“I’ll wake up early to finish that assignment that’s due tomorrow.”

11:30 pm

“I’m not even drun…. OMG this is my favorite song!”

Sometimes we all need to lie to ourselves to get us through college. Does that mean we’re bad people? No. (But maybe that’s a lie…)