A Collection of Sex Icks
photo courtesy of unsplash / womanizer
You know that feeling when you’re getting down n’ dirty and suddenly something about the experience or something your partner says or does makes you full-body cringe and consequently ruins the moment completely? That, my friends, is what we like to call a “Sex Ick.”
Unfortunately, the novel ~Sex Ick~ is a common phenomenon among college students. What better way to rid ourselves of the trauma than share it on the internet? The following collection includes a variety of sexual experiences that evoked major icks. Let’s get to it!
Due to the graphic and specific nature of the following icks, the ick-holders have decided to remain anonymous so that they do not expose their ick-inducing partners directly.
The Foot-Fetish Frenzy
“When we started having sex, he made me keep my socks on and he wouldn’t do any other position besides missionary but gripping my feet really tightly and on either side of my face and didn’t look at me at all. He would smell and kiss them...yeah, it was awful.”
He Did WHAT With His Teeth?
“When he ate me out, he used his teeth.”
Spit vs. Lube Debacle
“When people spit on their hand and use it as lube.”
This One Screams Frat Boy
“Head pushing.”
Some Furry Fun
“When they have a thing for furries.”
Let’s Keep Daddy on The Family Tree
“When he wants you to call him Daddy.”
Brad, This Isn’t Cirque du Soleil
“When someone thinks I’m an acrobat. Like no, my legs don’t go that way.”
It’s A Marathon, Not a Sprint
“When he rushes to finish and I’m not even...activated...yet.”
Taking Boy Toy a Little Too Literally
“When they squeeze the dick too hard.”
Do You Want a Medal?
“When they say ‘aren’t I so good at this?’ Like...you’re fine? A solid 6.5/10? LOL.”
...Or the opposite.
“A guy once looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘fun fact, I’m really bad at sex.’ Because THAT’S what you want to hear in bed.”
The Moan Police
“When they ask me why I’m being quiet...I’m not an actress, and nothing is warranting a noise.”
C’mon, We Want a Ryan Gosling Notebook Kiss
“That blank face they make before they kiss you.”
The Fingering Fake-Out
“When they finger you for like 2 seconds.”
The Ex-Obsessed...
“Talking about sex with their ex right before or after.”
You Okay Buddy?
“When they get really sweaty only 2 minutes in.”
This Should Be Illegal
“Not cleaning you off after so you’re just...laying there.”
The Vibes Have Been Killed
“When they take way too long to get up to get a condom.”
Hopefully, you can’t relate to any of these icky experiences and have had better sex than your peers, but if you saw yourself in any of these icks maybe you had a good laugh or learned a thing or two about improving sex with your partner(s). We’re all human, and bound to commit an ick once in a while, so study up, take note, and remember what NOT to do for next time!