EXpectations
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We all know plenty of people who think they’re ready to be friends with their ex, but end up right back where they started: sobbing to “Falling” after they made eye contact with you for two seconds on the promenade… wait, just us? It’s weird going from a couple to just friends and people tend to force a friendship too hard. So, if you really think you’re ready to be friends with your ex, make sure you can check off the rules on this list first in order to transition from relationship to friendship. If you meet these expectations, congrats, Jerk, you can be friends with your ex!
You haven’t talked to them for a long period of time
This means no. drunk. texting. and no temptation to talk to them every day. You’re living your best life without them in it.
When you do talk, it’s strictly platonic
We mean simple stuff restricted to “happy birthday” or “congrats on that award!” You’re technically still in the no contact period.
You’ve forgiven them for the way the relationship ended
You can’t be friends with your ex if you still resent them or have things left unsaid. Once the hostility goes away, then you can be friends.
When you picture future relationships, you don’t see their face
You’ve accepted that you don’t have a future together and you’re okay with it.
It doesn’t hurt to think about them with other partners
If you’re still talking shit about how Brad’s new gf isn’t as pretty as you, then you might want to take a step back and reevaluate how you feel.
You don’t get butterflies when you see them
No butterflies = no feelings
You miss their presence more than the love or sex
You have to ask yourself why you want to be friends with your ex in the first place, and if it’s because you miss the camaraderie, you’re good to go. If you miss the love more, then there’s a good chance you won’t be good friends.
You don’t stalk them on social media
If you’re up at 2 a.m. checking their Instagram feed, photos they’re tagged in, their S. O.’s feed, photos their S.O. is tagged in etc… we hate to break it to you, but you’re a little too invested to be friends.
You find ways to cheer yourself up or build your self-esteem without them
You can’t be emotionally dependent on your partner anymore, meaning you don’t think about them when you get sad, stressed or insecure. Instead, you turn towards your friends, therapist or yourself. Be your own #1 supporter.