U.T.Whyyyyy Is This Happening to Me??

photo courtesy of @clarabailey__ Instagram

We all know that feeling. The itchy, painful, why-am-i-peeing-for-the-fifteenth-time-today type feeling. If you don’t know what we’re talking about, God bless your soul, you’ve never had a UTI before (but keep reading, so when it does happen, you know wtf you’re talkin’ about). 

Here’s the truth about the least commonly discussed infection, that’s actually the most common to get, according to Planned Parenthood. A UTI is a Urinary Tract Infection. It’s basically when bacteria goes someplace it shouldn’t (aka the MAIN reason we stan peeing after sex). What many people don’t know is that UTIs have a lot more causes than just one forgotten trip to the bathroom.

As informed by our wONdeRfUL docs at the Barnes Center, UTIs can come from poor hygiene, wacky ~wiping habits~, or even a dirty dorm toilet (bye felicia). But as we at Jerk like to say, “We don’t give a fuck where it came from. We just want it to GO AWAY…” Aaaaand that’s how you find yourself sprinting across campus to do an emergency urine test 2 minutes before the clinic closes.

The thing is, unless your mom was a sex-ed teacher or you were unlucky enough to get a UTI in high school, you probably didn’t know what they were… ‘till it was too late. So why is there this intense cloud of shame around UTIs? Why do we have to waddle, red-faced to the front of a pharmacy just to get some damn Azo Tabs?

Let’s just face the facts, shall we? Members of both sexes can get UTIs. But, it is far more common if you have a vulva. So yes, that means that every box of UTI meds is pink, bedazzled, and come with a Ben & Jerry’s coupon (we fuckin’ wish). Alright so we may not be getting served free ice cream, but every lady who’s had to buy female-specific medication k n o w s that look we are served by every man in the vicinity.

Like, who are YOU to buy a completely normal and vetted product that is absolutely crucial to preventing a kidney transplant in public?? Come back to Walgreens in a unisex hoodie and some baggy sweats and we’ll be gucci. 

We all know that if it were as common for men to experience UTIs as for women, you could buy Azos from a frickin vending machine. But ladies, we aren’t gonna let the UTI stigma prevent us from getting the care we need and DESERVE in 2020. 

Next time you get that bitchy-itch, you walk right up to that male pharmacist and demand that he hand you those meds himself, and some Ben & Jerry’s too while he’s at it.