If it Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fucking Remake It
photo courtesy of @lionking Instagram
The only thing more painful than having to sit through all the trailers that play before a movie is sitting through trailers that are just newer, slightly shitter versions of movies you have already seen. We all love “Ghostbusters”, but why, after the first reboot completely bombing in 2016, is another “Ghostbusters” film being released this year? Is it too much to ask for Hollywood to stop making movies that fail, time and time again? No one wants this.
Remakes and reboots are not inherently a terrible idea, in fact, it makes sense- if something is really good and beloved by many, you should make more of it! But, as we can see from films (if we can actually call this one a film) such as Tom Hooper’s “Cats”, sometimes the things we think we want are not always the things we actually need. Absolutely nobody needed to see that movie. Nobody. And TBH we don’t know who even was asking for it, but Hooper really thought he was onto something with that A-list nightmare. While this broadway adaptation may not be a movie remake, it does make it to the top of our list for “Unnecessary Movies That Ruined a Perfectly Fine Thing.”
“The Lion King” remake from 2019 is another great example of a movie that, while not terrible, was just completely unnecessary. The original “The Lion King” is a classic film we all grew up watching and loving- which is exactly why there isn’t a reason to make another one. It may not have the amazing animation that is possible nowadays, and it doesn’t have an all-star ensemble including the likes of Beyonce and Donald Glover, but the thing is- good movies don’t need these things to attract an audience or at least entertain one; bad movies do.
While sure, modern remakes of Disney classics such as “The Lion King”, “Aladin”, “The Jungle Book” and “Cinderella” (just to name a few) can pull in large box office numbers due to the pre-existing popularity they possess, it more often does not create a film that is actually better. Just look at the Rotten Tomatoes scores of the original films compared to the scores of their remade counterparts (https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/article/yes-remakes-do-suck-and-the-tomatometer-proves-it). People will see these films because their familiarity will generate curiosity, and studios will make them because they’ll make them a shit ton of money (sorry, “Cats”; that one doesn’t apply to you).
Basically, the point we are trying to make is that if there is one market that is definitely over-saturated, it’s the market for these goddamn remakes. So directors, producers, any of you Hollywood people out there, take a note from your colleagues who are making amazing, original films (shoutout Parasite) and are getting the praise AND bank they deserve from them. It’s 2020, and we have the means to make unique and original films. So please, for moviegoers everywhere, stop wasting your time with meaningless reconstructions of our beloved, childhood films and try something new. We’re begging you.