The Biggest Tinder Red Flags
graphic by iseabail kelley
As a woman, having Tinder in Syracuse is an interesting experience. We all wish Mr. Chalamet will one day pop up on our screens, yet he never does. Since we’ll have to settle for Timmy lookalikes, here are the men you should be swiping left on while looking for yours:
White guys with BLM and ACAB in their bios. This one is a big no-no. The Black Lives Matter movement and calling to abolish police brutality are not something you can use to get laid. Stop with the performative activism; it’s embarrassing.
Guys with fish pictures. What is the logic behind putting up a picture of you holding a dead fish? Maybe it has something to do with their hardwired caveman ways. But we’ve evolved past that. There are better ways to attract a potential mate. A man’s big catch is not what any woman should be impressed by.
E-boys/Soft boys. These guys pride themselves on being different, but underneath their ~quirky~ exterior, they are just like any Frat-boy-Chad type. Same men, different packaging. Soft boys will gaslight you and then use you to write a shitty poem or something. Unless you’re down with being their temporary muse...go for it! Just remember the number one rule of Tinder: DO NOT GET ATTACHED.
Guys with pictures of them and children. Don’t be fooled: you didn’t come on Tinder to see them exploit their baby nephews’ cuteness. You came on there to hangout/hookup/date them, so the only cute factor that matters is theirs.
Men whose top 10 artists include Joji/Brockhampton/King Krule. Music taste does define a person, and these artists are definitely for men who are lowkey misogynistic. There is nothing worse than a man with a music superiority complex, except for maybe a man who doesn’t care about women.
Ladies, you’re probably thinking, “But..but if these are all the guys I should avoid, who will I match with??” Honestly, we at Jerk don’t know what to tell you. The plugs are pretty solid tho. You’ll (eventually) find your diamond in the rough, but these men are not worth your time.