Burn the Bra!
Bras. They hold us. They support us. And they make us want to rip them off our bodies and throw them into a never ending chasm of fire and ashes (...te he).
Okay but for real, bras fucking suck. For most of us girls, our childhood’s consisted of being tormented by the bra. We spent the first twelve years of our lives waiting for that fateful day where our moms would bring us to the underwear section of Target, eager to get our hands on that pink padded training bra and become a real woman. Then, after we really hit puberty, we would spend the next 6+ years wishing we never had to look at one again.
We’ve all been hit with that line, “Go put on a bra, there are men coming to the house,” on a Sunday morning before our Eggos had even popped. We would roll our eyes and climb back upstairs, knowing this was a fight we would never win. But the question we never asked was, what kind of men are coming into our house? Because if they would be aroused by two lumps under my Ben & Jerry’s t-shirt they probably shouldn’t be invited in anyways.
Oh and let’s not pretend there isn’t a double standard lurking here. Boys walk around practically naked, covered only by their plaid Fruit of The Loom boxer briefs, and no one even bats an eye. But when I walk out with the faintest outline of a nipple, CALL THE FRICKN’ POLICE. WE HAVE A NUDIST ON THE LOOSE.
Literally whose idea was it to wrap our bodies up in wire anyways? It was probably a man… okay definitely a man, because they have never understood how uncomfortable they are to wear. Trying to explain how awful bras are to guys is like trying to teach the birds and the bees to dogs (that was more synonymous than I thought it would be…).
Anyways, I once had a guy look me straight in the eye and tell me that, “If your bra is that uncomfortable, you probably have the wrong size.” Like, excuse me bitch? Don’t pretend for a fucking second that I don’t know the exact size of my assymetrical, perfectly cuppable 34Bs (depending on the retailer). We all know the problem isn’t the size of the bra. It is the nature of the bra itself.
But since demons like him actually exist in this world, here are the ten best ways to f*ck the patriarchy and free your titties from the shackles of bra-dom:
You Can’t Top The Tank Top
This is the perfect look for a braless-beginner! Dark colors like black and navy hide nipple outlines while still providing that soft, careless feel. Easily matched with jeans, sweatpants, or even a skirt if you’re feelin’ it!
2. Rock that Bod… in a Bodysuit!
Bodysuits are arguably one of the best looks of the decade, and they go hand in hand with going braless! Those plunging necklines are made to show off some skin so go HAM.
3. Sweatshirts are sweeeeet
Okay, you had to have seen this one coming. Sweatshirts are just TOO easy to free the nip under. Take advantage of this, ladies.
4. Crop Dat Top
Crop tops are such a YES. They are typically on the tighter side which is perfect for keeping the boobs in line & your bod lookin’ fiiiine (cringe, sorry). But really, this look is amazing for going out on the weekends and makes it so much easier to slip out of when you come back home… or to someone else’s home ;)
5. Jump on in!
Jumpsuits are a great piece to layer, and the more layers the less likely you’ll need to be wearing a bra! Take this look for example - by adding the jumpsuit on top, there isn’t the faintest glimpse of a nip slip there.
6. Better in Baggy
Baggy tees are literally our fav. Not only do they go with everything, but they can be so versatile! Tie ‘em up. Leave them down. Tuck ‘em in. It always looks good, and the best part is there is no bra required.
7. Faithful Flannels
The loose quality of flannels allows for boobs to roam free, unscathed! There’s thick fabric, big buttons, and a whole lotta stripes protecting them from the outside world.
8. Shawty Got Low Low Low…
Low. Tops. Are. Made. For. This. Seriously!! We promise that no one is going to yell at you for not owning a $59.99 plunge necked sticky bra extravaganza from Aerie. So please, for the love of god, stop making that a norm.
9. Oversized, But Not Overrated!
Eeeek! Just this picture alone gets us excited for the coziness of winter. And what better way to celebrate than to #FreeTheNipple in the comfiest article of clothing ever!
10. These Stripes are Sacred
Striped shirts slap, no questions asked. The pattern is simple, yet does a successful job at hiding unwanted nipple outlines while still leaving something to be desired. ‘Cuz let’s be real, going braless should be sexy! Not shamed.