A Buddhist and an Agnostic Christian Offer Tips on How to Safely Explore Your Spirituality
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Growing up, the Rev. Dr. Budd’s Friend- Jones, attended the conservative Evangelical United Brotherhood Church. His mother’s family had ties to the Ku Klux Klan, and though his father often pushed-back against their racist family members, the family’s faith was firmly rooted in the Evangelical Brotherhood.
However, once he made it to college, Friend-Jones’ path took a hard-left turn. He switched from his previous religion to be ordained in the congregationalist faith before veering even more left to the liberal United Church of Christ. This path would lead him to receiving a Doctor of Ministry from Howard University, organizing the Interfaith Children’s Movement in Atlanta, serving on the board for the North American Interfaith Network, and holding the first gay Thanksgiving church service in Minneapolis, to name a few. “For me, (college) was a breaking- away from that narrow thinking,” he said. “I’ve always been agnostic.”
Similarly, when she first arrived at Syracuse University as a freshman, Joann Cooke was a devout Catholic who grew up attending mass regularly but started questioning her faith in part because of the church’s preaching of the duality of good and evil. Today, she serves as the Buddhist chaplain at SU’s Hendricks Chapel.
Deviating from one’s family religion is way less big a deal today than when Cooke and Friend- Jones were in college. Hell, I bet half of you reading this went to services every weekend up until the day your parents dropped you off here, and you’re not alone. According to a recent study by the Pew Research center, the number of people identifying as Christian went down by 12% over the past decade while the number of people identifying as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular” went up by 9%. However, at the same time, instances of harassment toward religiously unaffiliated people have increased worldwide by 20% since 2012, according to a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center.
And while you may not be able to completely avoid the scornful gaze of your devout aunt or the barking dogma of the Marshall Street preachers, having the knowledge to back up your spiritual stance is an empowering tool—especially the next time a Marshall preacher screams that you’re going to burn in hell. And if you don’t care much about defending yourself to others, explore religion and spirituality just for the effects it can have on your mental health. According to a study by the American Journal of Psychotherapy, talking about religion and spirituality can be really helpful in improving anxiety, mood and substance abuse issues. Here are three tips from Cooke and Friend-Jones on how to explore your spirituality in healthy and mind-opening ways:
Find what speaks to you spiritually
Cooke and Friend-Jones each spoke toward exploring spirituality in ways that would not normally be considered religious. For example, spending time in nature can be a great way to connect with your spiritual side. One way in which this is practiced in the Buddhist faith is through walking meditation. Cooke even takes students on trips to meditate in nature, and c’mon, we all could use a little time to chill out in nature and unplug. Friend-Jones also advocates spending time in nature. Overall, he says spending time immersed in beauty is a great way to explore your spirituality. He suggests visiting museums, practicing art, listening to music, dancing, learning a new language, reading and writing as some of the best ways to open up your mind and better understand your personal sense of spirituality.
Learn from a variety of spiritual practices
Like Cooke and Friend-Jones, the religion, or lack thereof, that you grow up with may very well not be spiritually right for you. Learning about the principles of a variety of religions is a great way to explore your own spirituality, and a chaplain is a fantastic resource. “I don’t have any goals for students (that come see me),” Cooke said. “It could go anywhere.” She makes it clear that when you go to Hendricks to speak with a chaplain, they’re NOT trying to convert you.
They’re simply there to provide information about their chosen spiritual practice and support you in any way they can—whether that be with your spirituality or mental health through general counseling. Friend-Jones is a strong advocate of therapy and taking care of your mental health.
As hearing the perspectives of a counselor can open your mind to new truths about yourself, Friend-Jones sees exploring other religions as a way of better understanding the truths of others. Throughout his career he has worked closely with rabbis, monks, imams and priests. He encourages visiting a variety of centers of worship as a way of exposing yourself to others’ truths. But if you don’t have time for that, simply browsing on YouTube can be just as eye- opening.
Be Cautious
When exploring religion and spirituality it is important to be careful with who you talk to. Cooke warns that if you get involved with a group outside of Syracuse University you may be led into views that could get you in trouble with the university. Just the other day, a rainbow flag was burned outside a nearby church. If your new off-campus religious group was urging you to do anything like that, you could easily get expelled. So, if you do get involved with an outside organization, Cooke says visiting a chaplain of any faith is a great precaution to making sure you’re not being led into any sticky situations. Friend-Jones adds that having a close friend who can support you throughout your spiritual journey is very helpful. Having someone you can bounce ideas off and who will call you out if you start to take a ride on the crazy train is very helpful in ensuring your personal protection. But overall, Friend-Jones has one rule of thumb for making sure your spiritual journey is taking you on the right track: “Anything that opens your mind is a good thing. Anything that closes your mind and makes you feel oppressed is probably not a good thing.”